Dana Reid, D.O.

And just like that, it’s August and time for school to start back up. Usually, this season is buzzing with excitement and anticipation, as students gear up for another hectic school year. Stores are selling pencils, notebooks, and backpacks everywhere you look, with big, bright “BACK TO SCHOOL” signs all over the place. Malls are teaming with families picking out what clothes their child will need this year and what shoes they will grow into.


As a child psychiatrist, the weeks leading up to the first day of school are spent working closely with kids and parents to prepare for a successful year. We talk of returning to a regular sleep schedule after staying up late and sleeping in all summer, as well as addressing the various concerns that come with being back in a mentally, emotionally, and socially demanding environment. “Will I have a nice teacher? Will my friends be in my class? How will I keep up with all the homework?” I collaborate with my patients and their families to navigate these anxieties, and how to implement the strategies necessary to stay on the path to success.
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Due to Covid-19, it comes as no surprise that this school year will look quite different than what any of us are accustomed to. We are now forced to address worries we may have never had to think about before. Suddenly, not only are we stressed about getting all the right textbooks and the special calculator for algebra, now we are actually having to assess health concerns.
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​This past month saw parents, teachers, school board members, as well as local government officials all weighed down with the responsibility for creating an idea of what the 2020–2021 school year would look like in their neighborhood. The resulting plans and academic options vary drastically from state to state, city to city.
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One thing I’m sure we can all agree on is that these decisions are like nothing we have ever encountered before, and are overwhelming at times. Most of us have probably been wondering, “Am I making the right decision for my child? How will I ensure my child doesn’t fall behind? How will my child do without the extra support of a normal school environment? Will I be able to keep my job while also trying to watch my kids during the day? What if I can’t afford the tutors or to have my child in a learning pod?”
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Below are 7 tips for easing anxiety during this time

1. Flow with change and accept uncertainty. Since the onset of this pandemic, we have been forced to give up so much of our own control, but we have learned to adapt. I think we have even grown accustomed to existing with a heightened amount of uncertainty. Some of these adjustments have been very challenging, but we have been able to do it. If the last few months are any indication, we should know by now to expect the unexpected. We need to understand that any hard and fast expectations we have for this school year can change at a moment’s notice. If your school anticipates in person classes, there may be longer breaks or an abrupt switch to online learning depending on virus surges and local outbreaks. Anticipating change and being flexible with circumstances beyond our control will help us stay positive, motivated and lessen our disappointment.​​
2. Stay optimistic about this year. Remind yourself of all the effort teachers and staff have put into designing a curriculum that will be as effective and engaging as possible under the present circumstances. With e-learning this fall, there will be more active and “live’ teaching. If you have the option of attending physical school, instead of focusing on what has been eliminated or redesigned as precautionary measures, think about how great it is for your child to be able to see their friends and teachers. Granted, it is not what we had hoped for, but there still remains a lot of good with either option.
3. Maintain a consistent structure and routine. If you have children who will be going virtual this year, keep the most “normal” schedule you can. Have your child get up at their regular time and get dressed and ready for school. Prepare a hearty breakfast so your child can start the day with energy and focus. Set up a designated study area whether it be a desk in their room, or maybe the kitchen or home office. Keep it sunny and bright, and free from clutter and distractions. Add some colorful decorations or motivational signs to make it feel like a real classroom! It is not recommended that students study while sitting on or lying in their beds as it can lead to loss of motivation and feeling more sluggish.
4. Know what to expect with school work. It is important very early in the semester, even before school begins if possible, to be familiar with where assignments are posted online and how you plan on ensuring your child completes them. Think about what helped your child stay on top of their online coursework in the spring, and what didn’t quite go so well. What organizational strategies can be implemented to help? Some ideas may be visual hanging calendars, whiteboards, or schoolwork apps like Google Classroom. Also, check to see what the school has available, if there is an app they recommend or other scheduling tools they are offering. Procrastinating or falling behind in the first few weeks can add significantly more stress and have you and your child feeling frustrated and defeated right away. If your child has an IEP or 504 Plan in place at school, establish strong communication with the advisors and teachers right away, and make sure you there is a clear understanding of how the accommodations and needs of your child will be met.
5. Find outlets to help your child stay connected. If your child is going to school in person or staying home for e-learning, they will likely be missing some of their after-school activities. Find ways for your child to stay active. This could mean bike rides after school, outdoor sports like tennis that allow for distancing, or playing with neighbors outside. Some dance and karate studios are taking precautions such as masking to provide a safe outlet for kids. Look at signing up for virtual art or music classes. Talk to friends and neighbors to get ideas on what they are planning for their kids, and maybe you can work together on to come up with some activities.
6. Give yourself grace and be kind to others. These are very trying times and be assured that if you had to make a tough decision about your child’s education, you made the right one for YOUR family. No decision is right or wrong, it is simply what is best for you and your family. Don’t let others judge you or make you feel bad for what you have chosen, and don’t judge others for theirs. We all have had different personal factors to consider in making a selection of in person or online school. You are not alone in these hard times. Reach out to friends and family for both emotional support and also for help in ways like picking up your kids if you need or helping them get set up with school work if you are working. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and let go of any guilt if you can’t be present or don’t feel like you can help your child with all their work. Remember it takes a village, and this may be the year we have to get extra creative to make school successful
7. ​Take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup — You can’t be everything your family needs you to be if you are not taking care of yourself. Make sure you are getting adequate sleep, eating healthy meals, incorporating movement into your day and staying connected with friends. I also love mindfulness, yoga, and meditation to help with sleep, especially if it has become disrupted due to the excessive stress. Some good meditation apps are Calm, Headspace, 10% Happier and Insight Timer.

Dana Reid, D.O. 

Are you experiencing “FOMO”, or fear of missing out, when scrolling through social media and seeing an endless stream of photos of your friends having fun together while you are stuck home in quarantine?

Are you left wondering why other people seem to not be taking this virus seriously and why they are going about their lives as if we are not in the midst of a global pandemic?

Are you feeling frustrated or angry by the actions of others as the numbers of people infected surge throughout the country threatening a devastating impact?

Are you questioning if you are being too cautious or “paranoid” for turning down invitations to gatherings, maybe even feeling judged or mocked for your precautions?

Responses to this pandemic vary from one extreme to the other, as we all have seen. This has created a significant divide in our society, even some friendships and relationships have come under strain as a result. My own friends have expressed the thoughts mentioned above, as well as many of my patients. Numerous times I myself have had similar feelings. “Am I overreacting? Why isn’t anyone else here wearing a mask? Am I being too cautious?”

When this illness first began sweeping the nation, Stay at Home orders were implemented, and FOMO was not as common an occurrence. There may have been FOMO about not being in certain virtual gatherings or happy hours, yet it was lessened. We were all too busy baking banana bread, finishing a 1000-piece puzzle, creating endless crafts and doing projects around the home to make the time pass. THIS is what you saw as you scrolled through social media. People were staying connected virtually and checking on one another. We banded together as we all shared in this collective experience.

As states started to slowly reopen, each person realized their own level of comfort with resuming the “norm”. Some were eager to return to their routines, while others were not so sure about what felt safe. As the cases of coronavirus began climbing once more, a fear of going out intensified for many. But not everyone. Some who did not feel threatened proceeded to attend parties, go to crowded bars, take trips with groups of friends. Now photos of events like these began circulating online. Those who have been staying cautious, perhaps even isolating, were now left questioning if missing out on these events was really worth it and second guessing their decision to remain vigilant to possible exposure.

Feelings like these are not unique, and are actually coming up for a majority of us as we try to navigate this new territory. This entire situation is completely unprecedented, and we are now expected to make decisions we have never had to make before. How do we figure out what is right, best, and safest for ourselves and also our community? How can we maintain friendships with people who hold polarizing views from our own, and make choices we do not agree with? How do we balance our mental health needs while social distancing and protecting others?


Here are a few tips for how YOU can approach these situations

Acknowledge your Feelings
It is okay to feel sad, upset, or frustrated when seeing pictures of people getting together and feeling left out. Your feelings are valid and deserve to be acknowledged. Feel them, tell them to a supportive friend, and do not minimize them.

Recognize why you are making these decisions
Every decision we make regarding our response to COVID must be a calculated one based on assessing potential and probable risk. Generally, we each go about evaluating risk differently. Due to our personal circumstances, some of us may be wary, while others may be content to take on more liability. Factors such as the spread of coronavirus in our area, the state of our own health, and the health and vulnerability of those we come into contact with, all warrant our serious consideration. We are aware that the lowest risk of virus transmission is in a well-ventilated, outdoor space, no more than ten people, all a distance of at least six feet apart. COVID-19 is a severe, and at times, fatal illness that poses a threat for people of all ages. No one is immune, and there is no way to guarantee if you will have a “mild” case. Reports are now breaking of coronavirus patients developing lung, heart, kidney, and neurological complications even after being deemed “recovered”. If the time comes that you begin questioning why you are declining an invitation to a crowded event or gathering, remind yourself of your reasons. And remember, those who make different decisions from you also have their own reasons, so try not to judge.

Limit your use of social media
FOMO is only worsened when you are constantly confronted with pictures of a function you were not a part of. If seeing post after post has you feeling down, take measures to decrease your time spent on social media. Take breaks from it on weekends or evenings, and block or unfollow certain accounts as needed.

Share your thoughts with friends
Your true friends will understand if you are not feeling quite safe yet to spend time in close quarters and less social distancing. Tell them you miss them! Express to them how much you look forward to more time together when this is over, even if it means in several months or a year. Share your excitement to go to that concert next summer. Get creative with how you hang out. That could mean more Zoom or FaceTime meet ups, doing more small outdoor gatherings, playing a game of tennis, or going for a distanced hike. Try to find safe ways to socialize to balance your mental health needs and maintain social interactions.

Focus on what makes you happy and practice gratitude
There are many activities that can bring joy into your day, even during a quarantine. Some ideas may be exercising, learning a new hobby and trying new recipes. Think of what you can engage in, instead of what you can’t.

Let go of some friendships
It is perfectly okay to dismiss any toxic or unhealthy friendships where there exists much divide and misunderstanding. This pandemic has made it clear which friendships are a priority to us, and those are the relationships we nurture.
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Remember this is temporary
These times are unprecedented and we are all in this together trying to get through. Everyone is exhausted, scared and experiencing COVID fatigue. We are all missing our “normal”. But remember, we cannot get there without making decisions that keep ourselves and our communities safe. We have to embrace delayed gratification and look out for the greater good.